I can turn my fanfiction into gold?

No, I can't. I just read another confirmation that I won't be an easy success because... I don't write erotica!

I found an article today that amused me at my favorite amusing-articles waste of time site: http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-tips-turning-awful-fan-fiction-into-best-seller/ 

Mr. McGinley needs to think seriously about cobbling together all of those fake and purposeful "bad book passages" samples he provides and making them into a book, because people would read it for the So-Bad-It's-Good quality. Now, if those passages are from actual manuscripts he's come across... dude, those books will be totally successful - not as romance but as comedy. 

Despite my penning of original work every once in a while, (stuff I post here) I've been steeped in the fun and free and wild world of fan fiction for a long time. (I post my fanfiction on fanfiction and specific-fandom sites and do not "glut" my blog with it, as I write a lot of it). I have read and skimmed many a fanfiction that was meant in all seriousness that reads just like the "fake-bad" passages in the article!   And not just because I used to go to "snarker" sites. I don't bother with the general meanness of those anymore, but still come across some real comedy cold when looking for fan-things about favorite worlds and characters to read.

My own work is... different... than the stereotypes comedians like to point out.  Is about 80- 90 percent of fanfiction pairings/love/humping-if-the-site-allows-adult-stuff-or-you-can-lie-and-get-past-the-filters? Oh, yeah.  There are also lots of fics of the other variety (the rare species "gen," as rare as the legendary unicorn some would say) all about friendships and adventures and "what if something went wonky in the world?" and the latter broad-category is the variety I'm known for.  And then there's the stuff I pen that people might not know what to do with, like a surreal-imagery-split-dimensions thing I wrote that I feel an urge to make into a wordless fancomic and one story I wrote that's essentially a romance between robots where the whole thing being *completely sexless* makes sense.  It's also kind of one-sided, as it involves one of the partners being in an eternal sleep inside a sword... if you know the fandom, you know instantly what I'm talking about and if you don't, what I said makes no sense.

Er, long story short, my fanfiction, much like my original work... isn't titillating, it's just WEIRD. A friend once compared my writing style to that of Madeline L'Engle, which I took as a great compliment, but I honestly don't know if her style of work would be published/publishable today and that means I'm screwed as far as getting rich off of anything creative that I do, hmm? 

As an asexual / sexually uninterested person, I don't think I can write realistic screwing from the perspective and for the general titillation of normal people.  I could hack at it, certainly, after all, I've never killed anyone and I write scenes of war and murder into my stories... but if I wind up writing "he waggled his sex for her pleasure and they made the sex," I'm going to be *laughing* too damn hard to pound out anything!

Though the article did give me an idea... the love with a monster thing.  I think it would be fun to write a romance between a naive girl and a zombie... whom she UNDERSTANDS! despite his undeath.  It would contain literal boning! Maybe I can even go one step further and have girl meets skeleton!  I could title it Afterlife Affair: Love in the Midnight Cemetery. 

If it is to be a fanfiction-turned-book-proper, hmmm.. It'd start out as a Legend of Zelda something involving a Stalfos, a canon skeleton-enemy and then it would morph... and....

My brain hurts.