Monday, May 27, 2013

Dangers of Certitude

For the first time in a long time, I actually felt certain about something, confident in my own view. 

I was in a bit of a flame war today on a forum I frequent, and unlike in most Internet flame wars I've been in during my life, I didn't come away crying from it or feeling worthless or like I had done something terrible or maybe was awful for just existing.  This was because my opponnents were wrong.  I *knew* that they were wrong. 

The flame war was over something dumb.  Opinions on fan fiction.  Not a specific fan fiction, just the hobby and craft of fan fiction writing in general.  I felt called upon to defend one of the things I love to do. (For the record, I am against publishing it for profit, which was what the thread started out about, but then whiners came along to Complain About Hobbies They Do Not Partake In and I had to show them their place). 

THEY WERE WRONG!  Right now, I feel that my opinion is fact on this!  For the first time in a long time, I feel I. Am. Right.  I'm usually riddled with self-doubt about everything I'm about or believe in, but, wow... there's no ambguity here!  While I am aware that I was rude in my responses, the feeling of being RIGHT about something is downright intoxicating. 

This leaves me glad that the thing my brain chose not to have doubt about is, in the long run, a kind of dumb thing - a fun Internet-hobby and not something more serious.  It is something I'm willing to walk away from (knowing I'm right, of course) rather than something I'll ever want to physically hurt anyone over or try or bother people to get into. 

I think I understand why people are so big on crowing their "rightness" to the world.  Not being in doubt (for once) feels wonderful.  This is why on more serious matters, I'm glad I'm friends with Doubt.

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